Welcome to The World's Most Annoying Girl pageant, live from beautiful Branson, Missouri. I'm Brian Dunkleman, let's review the criteria for tonight's competition.
1) Make sure to ONLY talk about the A-list clubs you go to and how they suck and how everyone there sucks and how you are so over them. This despite the fact that you go to them 5 nights a week.
2) Name drop frequently and always follow up with "I don't know why everyone makes such a big deal about {insert pseudo-celeb here} he tried to talk to me but I was like whatever"
3) Dye your hair, put in extensions, and wear 6 lbs of makeup and then complain about how everyone in LA is "fake".
4) Never ask a SINGLE question. Not about me, not about anything.
5) Interpret ALL sarcastic remarks as being 100% serious. No matter how absurd.
6) Flake repeatedly and often. Agree to meet up at 2am and then change your mind 5 minutes later. Repeat 2x.
7) Make sure sex has all the enthusiasm of a 6am trip to the DMV.
I don't think I'll see this chick again unless it's at 2am and purely out of spite.
X
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Monday, June 30, 2008
FR: Let me see you do the Jane Fonda
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Sunday, June 15, 2008
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Approach Update
So just a quick update on my approaching. Much like the person who decides on Jan 1st to lose 30 lbs, only to end up back on the couch getting fat by Jan 15th, I made an unrealistic goal. In fact, I think the goal made my AA significantly worse. So I’m revising. I’m going to do this gradually.
New Goal:
Starting today…..I will approach at least 1 woman a day through the end of the month. That’s it.
I think this will help me keep the momentum from this weeks program and will get me approaching every day so the weekends don’t seem like such a Herculean effort.
X
New Goal:
Starting today…..I will approach at least 1 woman a day through the end of the month. That’s it.
I think this will help me keep the momentum from this weeks program and will get me approaching every day so the weekends don’t seem like such a Herculean effort.
X
Review: Sinn (featuring Moxie) on Getting Attraction Off the Opener
Sinn came to town with Moxie of Love Systems and spoke about getting attraction off the opener. They lectured for about 2 hours, we did some exercises and then 6 of us went out on the Sunset Strip with them (and Johnny Wolf) to practice on unsuspecting tourists.
First the lecture portion. The basic theme of this model of attraction is that there is a direct correlation between how much social pressure you can handle and how much attraction you get. The more difficult the situation (e.g. 6 guys and 1 girl) the more attraction you are going to get right off the bat. The idea is that you do something a little bit out there and it frames you as a fun, high value guy who doesn’t give a fuck. Moxie called this “Hollywood Attraction” – living your life like a movie (yes..if that movie is Borat). The guys talked about this new, quick way to get attraction and gave some good openers / examples. I also really liked Sinn’s tips for reducing AA. Basically he gave a few mental constructs that I found pretty helpful. In a nutshell, this method builds on principles most attributed to RSD, things like the Apocalypse opener and Tyler’s idea of self-amusement, and also on Brad P’s Blow Me of Blow Me Out concept.
Next up was the field portion. And what better place to do than the PUA mecca ….Saddle Ranch. I can think of a few places I would rather game than at Saddle Ranch. A Turkish prison. My grandmother’s nursing home. A leper colony. The place is fucking disgusting. It would have to get a lot classier to qualify as bridge and tunnel.
Anyway we were tasked with doing 8 exercises. I won’t give away too much since I’m sure they’ll want to develop a course around this but basically think an edgier version of Brad P’s social freedom exercises. But the important distinction here is that those exercises are meant solely to help reduce Approach Anxiety. Most of the exercises that we did are actually designed to get attraction (although reducing your AA is an inevitable by-product). I’ll give away the one that I found most jarring and that was opening by kissing a girl on the shoulder (which I did twice). After you do, you have to just not crack up (I failed that part) and you can start qualifying. I watched another student do this in a huge mixed set and the girl exploded with attraction. If I didn’t see it with my own eyes, I wouldn’t have believed it. These guys are definitely on to something…..
Overall the program was a great value and extremely useful to me personally. I’ve been suffering unusually high AA lately and this will undoubtedly help ameliorate that. But I think the most important thing I learned is that we all learn these rules and do’s and don’ts (especially don’ts) but that can all be trumped by just having giant balls. Huge, brass, swinging, clanking balls.
Oh my one complaint….had nothing to do with the program. While giving another student a ride I got pulled over by the cops. I didn’t notice the valet hadn’t turned on my headlights. They actually pull us out of the car and searched us and the other student is carrying a knife! WTF? It’s like a giant swiss army / fishing knife. LAPD + Daniel Boone over here carrying a concealed weapon = Xander watching his life flash before his eyes. I know Saddle Ranch is supposed to be a country western bar but that doesn’t mean we’ll be gutting salmon. I told the cop the truth…that we were Pick Up training at Saddle Ranch and he found it amusing enough that he (thankfully) let us go. Close fucking call!
X
First the lecture portion. The basic theme of this model of attraction is that there is a direct correlation between how much social pressure you can handle and how much attraction you get. The more difficult the situation (e.g. 6 guys and 1 girl) the more attraction you are going to get right off the bat. The idea is that you do something a little bit out there and it frames you as a fun, high value guy who doesn’t give a fuck. Moxie called this “Hollywood Attraction” – living your life like a movie (yes..if that movie is Borat). The guys talked about this new, quick way to get attraction and gave some good openers / examples. I also really liked Sinn’s tips for reducing AA. Basically he gave a few mental constructs that I found pretty helpful. In a nutshell, this method builds on principles most attributed to RSD, things like the Apocalypse opener and Tyler’s idea of self-amusement, and also on Brad P’s Blow Me of Blow Me Out concept.
Next up was the field portion. And what better place to do than the PUA mecca ….Saddle Ranch. I can think of a few places I would rather game than at Saddle Ranch. A Turkish prison. My grandmother’s nursing home. A leper colony. The place is fucking disgusting. It would have to get a lot classier to qualify as bridge and tunnel.
Anyway we were tasked with doing 8 exercises. I won’t give away too much since I’m sure they’ll want to develop a course around this but basically think an edgier version of Brad P’s social freedom exercises. But the important distinction here is that those exercises are meant solely to help reduce Approach Anxiety. Most of the exercises that we did are actually designed to get attraction (although reducing your AA is an inevitable by-product). I’ll give away the one that I found most jarring and that was opening by kissing a girl on the shoulder (which I did twice). After you do, you have to just not crack up (I failed that part) and you can start qualifying. I watched another student do this in a huge mixed set and the girl exploded with attraction. If I didn’t see it with my own eyes, I wouldn’t have believed it. These guys are definitely on to something…..
Overall the program was a great value and extremely useful to me personally. I’ve been suffering unusually high AA lately and this will undoubtedly help ameliorate that. But I think the most important thing I learned is that we all learn these rules and do’s and don’ts (especially don’ts) but that can all be trumped by just having giant balls. Huge, brass, swinging, clanking balls.
Oh my one complaint….had nothing to do with the program. While giving another student a ride I got pulled over by the cops. I didn’t notice the valet hadn’t turned on my headlights. They actually pull us out of the car and searched us and the other student is carrying a knife! WTF? It’s like a giant swiss army / fishing knife. LAPD + Daniel Boone over here carrying a concealed weapon = Xander watching his life flash before his eyes. I know Saddle Ranch is supposed to be a country western bar but that doesn’t mean we’ll be gutting salmon. I told the cop the truth…that we were Pick Up training at Saddle Ranch and he found it amusing enough that he (thankfully) let us go. Close fucking call!
X
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Grease
I’ve become adept enough at greasing bouncers that it’s not a big deal but Sat. took some real work. Since this is a part of nightlife few people talk about, I figured I would take an entertaining look at it.
The crew and I roll up to SuperHot Hollywood Club #1 at about 10.15. This is the only place I’ve ever seen where there is a line for bottle service. Wait you are going to sodomize me to the tune of $1,200 for the night AND make me stand outside like an asshole? Impressive.
Anyway, I walk up to the first the bouncer:
Xander: “I have 3 guys and (*bouncer looks at me like I just told him he has ball cancer and its spreading fast*) I’m thinking $100 to make this line disappear.”
Bouncer: *laughing* “Talk to PromoterDouchebag”
Xander: “I have 3 guys, how’s $100?”
PromoterDouchbag: *laughing* “Maybe $100 a guy”.
Xander: “How about $200 for 3?”
PromoterDouchebag: *using his limited mental capacity to calculate the price of an 8ball* “$200? Show me the guys.” *after seeing the guys* “OK”
We decide it’s too much and walk across the street to SuperHot Hollywood Club #2
It’s retarded outside with huge packs of girls standing around in the familiar shivering pose and dudes pretending to be on their cell phone so they don’t look as pathetic on the wrong side of the velvet rope. Off to work my magic…..
Xander: “I have 3 guys and I want to do this the smart way….how’s $100?”
Bouncer #1: This is for bottle service only. And they won’t park your car for $100.
Your hero is undeterred. I walk up to another bouncer as he tells the greasy Persian troll next to me $500 for 3 guys. Said troll throws a tantrum like he was just told that he can’t park his 7 series in the handicapped spot. I negotiate with Bouncer#2 and after another “Show me the guys comment” he agrees to $150. He instructs me to shake Bouncer #3’s hand with the grease and walk in with the group of 3 promoters and 40 girls that are about to walk in. In the meantime Bouncer #4 is chatting with me about the going grease rates here and across the street. After 20 of the girls make it past the rope Bouncer #3, who bears a slight resemblance to the bailiff from “Night Court” except with slicked back hair, halts the ho-stroll and sends them back into the morass of striped shirts and short skirts from whence they came. At this point I approach Bull with my money to which he shouts “$150 for 3 guys, get the fuck out of here!”
Once again your hero laughs in the face of rejection and Brylcream. I chat with Bouncer#4 some more and he agrees to $150. He instructs us to meet him in the back alley where he will open the back door for us. After our delightfully shady transaction and a short jaunt through the faux-kitchen (only there for permit purposes) we arrive into our Shangri-la. A courtyard filled with 80% women with an average looks rating of ~8.5. Great success!
I always laugh when I tell people that I went to some Hollywood hot spot and they say “Oh my God, how did you get in?” Somehow I think they are looking for a more interesting answer than “I had $50”
X
The crew and I roll up to SuperHot Hollywood Club #1 at about 10.15. This is the only place I’ve ever seen where there is a line for bottle service. Wait you are going to sodomize me to the tune of $1,200 for the night AND make me stand outside like an asshole? Impressive.
Anyway, I walk up to the first the bouncer:
Xander: “I have 3 guys and (*bouncer looks at me like I just told him he has ball cancer and its spreading fast*) I’m thinking $100 to make this line disappear.”
Bouncer: *laughing* “Talk to PromoterDouchebag”
Xander: “I have 3 guys, how’s $100?”
PromoterDouchbag: *laughing* “Maybe $100 a guy”.
Xander: “How about $200 for 3?”
PromoterDouchebag: *using his limited mental capacity to calculate the price of an 8ball* “$200? Show me the guys.” *after seeing the guys* “OK”
We decide it’s too much and walk across the street to SuperHot Hollywood Club #2
It’s retarded outside with huge packs of girls standing around in the familiar shivering pose and dudes pretending to be on their cell phone so they don’t look as pathetic on the wrong side of the velvet rope. Off to work my magic…..
Xander: “I have 3 guys and I want to do this the smart way….how’s $100?”
Bouncer #1: This is for bottle service only. And they won’t park your car for $100.
Your hero is undeterred. I walk up to another bouncer as he tells the greasy Persian troll next to me $500 for 3 guys. Said troll throws a tantrum like he was just told that he can’t park his 7 series in the handicapped spot. I negotiate with Bouncer#2 and after another “Show me the guys comment” he agrees to $150. He instructs me to shake Bouncer #3’s hand with the grease and walk in with the group of 3 promoters and 40 girls that are about to walk in. In the meantime Bouncer #4 is chatting with me about the going grease rates here and across the street. After 20 of the girls make it past the rope Bouncer #3, who bears a slight resemblance to the bailiff from “Night Court” except with slicked back hair, halts the ho-stroll and sends them back into the morass of striped shirts and short skirts from whence they came. At this point I approach Bull with my money to which he shouts “$150 for 3 guys, get the fuck out of here!”
Once again your hero laughs in the face of rejection and Brylcream. I chat with Bouncer#4 some more and he agrees to $150. He instructs us to meet him in the back alley where he will open the back door for us. After our delightfully shady transaction and a short jaunt through the faux-kitchen (only there for permit purposes) we arrive into our Shangri-la. A courtyard filled with 80% women with an average looks rating of ~8.5. Great success!
I always laugh when I tell people that I went to some Hollywood hot spot and they say “Oh my God, how did you get in?” Somehow I think they are looking for a more interesting answer than “I had $50”
X
Update: Road to 1000 approaches
Well 2 weeks are in the bag and there’s good news and bad news
Bad news
- I’ve done 30 approaches - far less than my goal of 100 for the 2 weeks
- My attempt at day game was just about as successful as the release of Speed Racer and twice as painful to watch. The first hour I wandered around The Grove like a stray dog until I finally talked to someone….and it was Brad P who was working with a student. I finally opened 2 girls by asking for fashion advice. Day Game 1, Xander 0.
Good news
- 30 approaches is more than I’ve done in the preceding 3 months
- I have a week more than I thought so technically I’m only behind 20 approaches.
- Almost all my sets opened
- I’m still awesome
So looks like I’ve got some work to do. I’ll keep ya posted….
X
Bad news
- I’ve done 30 approaches - far less than my goal of 100 for the 2 weeks
- My attempt at day game was just about as successful as the release of Speed Racer and twice as painful to watch. The first hour I wandered around The Grove like a stray dog until I finally talked to someone….and it was Brad P who was working with a student. I finally opened 2 girls by asking for fashion advice. Day Game 1, Xander 0.
Good news
- 30 approaches is more than I’ve done in the preceding 3 months
- I have a week more than I thought so technically I’m only behind 20 approaches.
- Almost all my sets opened
- I’m still awesome
So looks like I’ve got some work to do. I’ll keep ya posted….
X
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