Welcome to The World's Most Annoying Girl pageant, live from beautiful Branson, Missouri. I'm Brian Dunkleman, let's review the criteria for tonight's competition.
1) Make sure to ONLY talk about the A-list clubs you go to and how they suck and how everyone there sucks and how you are so over them. This despite the fact that you go to them 5 nights a week.
2) Name drop frequently and always follow up with "I don't know why everyone makes such a big deal about {insert pseudo-celeb here} he tried to talk to me but I was like whatever"
3) Dye your hair, put in extensions, and wear 6 lbs of makeup and then complain about how everyone in LA is "fake".
4) Never ask a SINGLE question. Not about me, not about anything.
5) Interpret ALL sarcastic remarks as being 100% serious. No matter how absurd.
6) Flake repeatedly and often. Agree to meet up at 2am and then change your mind 5 minutes later. Repeat 2x.
7) Make sure sex has all the enthusiasm of a 6am trip to the DMV.
I don't think I'll see this chick again unless it's at 2am and purely out of spite.
X
Saturday, July 19, 2008
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