There's an interesting post up on Gawker attempting to tackle the age-old question that sent Freud to his grave....what do women want?
An astute female commenter named Imjustskinny put it nicely "I want someone to TELL me what I want ;)"
X
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
Leavin' ....on a jet plane....
Little slow on the posts lately. I’ve been sick twice in a month. First I had food poisoning for a few days where I felt like I was dying. Woke up fine Saturday morning, by Saturday afternoon I felt like I was aborting a porcupine from my womb with a wire hanger. Now I have a cold, undoubtedly caught from the walking Petri dishes in my office. More than half my office has it and they were kind enough to infect me. In the last year and a half I think I’ve been sick about a dozen times. The combination of going out so much and not sleeping enough has left me with an immune system roughly as proficient as Magic Johnson’s. At this rate I’ll achieve my Pickup goals only to die at 37 of Bubonic Plague.
Girl update…..Bobby Fisher petered out in bizarre fashion. Her phone was shut off – not just off but disconnected – for a week and half. A few texts here and there and she stopped responding. Working on a very attractive girl that I met the week after I met Bobby Fisher. She gave me half a hand job in a burger joint the night I met her. She definitely wants to sleep with me but she lives far away and it’s been a month and a half since I met her out. I can’t believe she’s still returning my texts and calls.
Other than that I am going to Mexico on vacation all next week…. Hoping to score an easy vacation lay in between chilling on the beach. Will keep you posted….
X
Girl update…..Bobby Fisher petered out in bizarre fashion. Her phone was shut off – not just off but disconnected – for a week and half. A few texts here and there and she stopped responding. Working on a very attractive girl that I met the week after I met Bobby Fisher. She gave me half a hand job in a burger joint the night I met her. She definitely wants to sleep with me but she lives far away and it’s been a month and a half since I met her out. I can’t believe she’s still returning my texts and calls.
Other than that I am going to Mexico on vacation all next week…. Hoping to score an easy vacation lay in between chilling on the beach. Will keep you posted….
X
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
NWLR: No Work Lay Report
“My bed’s filled with takeaways…. and fantasies of easy lays….” – Robbie Williams
Every once in awhile the pickup Gods smile upon you. Sometimes all you have to do is smile back. Saturday night was one such instance. My wing Alonzo invited me to a work party in Venice. I was feeling a little old as the party had the feel of a house party with young girls, a keg, and drinks being served out of the fridge. Good looking girls though in between all the hipsters. I loathe hipsters. No I don’t listen to the Jonas Brothers; they’re awful and purity rings are for 14-year old girls.
Any way around 11pm Alonzo opens a very cute girl and seems to hit it off, leaving me to my own devices. I’m walking through a courtyard area when a blonde girl with a nose ring kicks the back of knee.
Girl: Oh…..sooorry (very sarcastically)
Me: That’s going to cost you.
I had noticed her earlier. She was really cute, about 5’10”, an inch or so taller than me, and I had planned on approaching her anyway. I plop myself down next to her and immediately start qualifying her. You are very outgoing I like that. etc, etc. We talk about nothing in particular; she mentions that she has a dog, to which I say
“If I ever got a dog I would name him Stains….that way everyone would call him and say ‘Come stains…..come stains’”
She cracks up for a solid 30 seconds. A little more fluff talk. She talks about how she has 2 jobs so when she’s not working she likes to “watch lots of bad reality TV and have lots of sex.” I’m in. I make her laugh again and she leans into me as she’s laughing. I put my arm around her and bring her closer. I go in for the kiss…..full blown makeout session in the courtyard ensues. She pulls me in by my collar which really turns me on.
She says she has to go to the bathroom and I suggest I’ll get a couple of more drinks in the meantime. They are out of alcohol. Perfect! In retrospect I should have just said that anyway. I suggest we go to the nearby bar to continue the party. As we are walking out she says
“Oh I have to tell my sister I’m leaving” (pulls out phone and starts texting) “Taking off…if you are OK, I’ll see you in the morning” Guess we won’t be needing that 2nd drink, will we. :)
Hop in my car, start back to my place. She puts her hand on my junk and starts talking dirty. Awesome. She puts her heels up on my dash board as I throw my hand down her pants. Hands down pants + driving = very difficult. She unbuttons my jeans and starts driving stick shift. Double awesome. I’m all over the fucking road…but somehow make it home. Bring her upstairs and give her all I got. Total time from initiating conversation to giving her the ‘ol stick-and-stir? Under 40 minutes.
I rule!
X
Every once in awhile the pickup Gods smile upon you. Sometimes all you have to do is smile back. Saturday night was one such instance. My wing Alonzo invited me to a work party in Venice. I was feeling a little old as the party had the feel of a house party with young girls, a keg, and drinks being served out of the fridge. Good looking girls though in between all the hipsters. I loathe hipsters. No I don’t listen to the Jonas Brothers; they’re awful and purity rings are for 14-year old girls.
Any way around 11pm Alonzo opens a very cute girl and seems to hit it off, leaving me to my own devices. I’m walking through a courtyard area when a blonde girl with a nose ring kicks the back of knee.
Girl: Oh…..sooorry (very sarcastically)
Me: That’s going to cost you.
I had noticed her earlier. She was really cute, about 5’10”, an inch or so taller than me, and I had planned on approaching her anyway. I plop myself down next to her and immediately start qualifying her. You are very outgoing I like that. etc, etc. We talk about nothing in particular; she mentions that she has a dog, to which I say
“If I ever got a dog I would name him Stains….that way everyone would call him and say ‘Come stains…..come stains’”
She cracks up for a solid 30 seconds. A little more fluff talk. She talks about how she has 2 jobs so when she’s not working she likes to “watch lots of bad reality TV and have lots of sex.” I’m in. I make her laugh again and she leans into me as she’s laughing. I put my arm around her and bring her closer. I go in for the kiss…..full blown makeout session in the courtyard ensues. She pulls me in by my collar which really turns me on.
She says she has to go to the bathroom and I suggest I’ll get a couple of more drinks in the meantime. They are out of alcohol. Perfect! In retrospect I should have just said that anyway. I suggest we go to the nearby bar to continue the party. As we are walking out she says
“Oh I have to tell my sister I’m leaving” (pulls out phone and starts texting) “Taking off…if you are OK, I’ll see you in the morning” Guess we won’t be needing that 2nd drink, will we. :)
Hop in my car, start back to my place. She puts her hand on my junk and starts talking dirty. Awesome. She puts her heels up on my dash board as I throw my hand down her pants. Hands down pants + driving = very difficult. She unbuttons my jeans and starts driving stick shift. Double awesome. I’m all over the fucking road…but somehow make it home. Bring her upstairs and give her all I got. Total time from initiating conversation to giving her the ‘ol stick-and-stir? Under 40 minutes.
I rule!
X
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