Plowin' through shit tests

I try to avoid talking about game with girls because they uniformly react negatively to it. They abhor the tactical aspect because it’s the antithesis of romance I suppose. But without it we are left with ineffective platitudes like the universally retarded advice “Just be yourself”. Uh, thanks but “being myself” has gotten me a gold medal in chronic masturbating, you have any other nuggets of wisdom Dr. Phil?

The reason guys can’t just be themselves or just walk up and say “hi” (as is often suggested by my well-meaning but clueless girl-friends) is because we know the consequences. Case in point……

I’m out the night before Thanksgiving and things are dead except for one local bar which is hopin’. I spy with my eye a 2 set and open….

X: Hey, you guys look interesting, are you friendly?
HBBrunette: No (I think I got a negative response because in order to get to them I had to get way into their space)
X: Sweet, me neither, I’m kind of a dick actually but we can be bitter together tonight. Hey, I have a question for you….how often do you get approached in a place like this? (this is my standard opener)
HBBarracuda: Never
X: Interesting…we were at dinner with our girfriends and they were saying –
HBBarracuda: Why are you talking to us if you have a girlfriend?
X: *Pause* Female friends if you want to be particular
HBBrunette: I think it’s ok
X: So yeah we hardly ever see guys approach girls anymore, we mostly just -
HBBarracuda: Are we on camera?
X: .Yes it’s right there, smile. Yeah sometimes you’ll see guys send in a scout to try to pick up -
HBBarracuda: I don’t know what you are talking about
X: *looking at her drink* How many of those have you had?
HBBarracuda: This is my first
X: Anyway, what I was saying was -
HBBarracuda: Are you here by yourself?
X: Yes, I live in the bar and I come out at night to entertain people
HBBarracuda: You aren’t doing a very good job.
X: (laughing but stumbling a little)….
HBBrunette: You caught us at a bad time…we haven’t seen each other in 5 years and we’re catching up tonight.

I fluff talk for another minute or so before getting the “well it was nice to meet you” blowout from the brunette.

X: Ok have a good night you guys
HBBarracuda: You too…and take care of those pearly whites. *smiles*

So a couple of things…one, as I said, this is a frequent response to most guys just walking up to a group of girls so I hope my female readers understand why we guys are apt to employ some kind of gameplan. Luckily I almost never get this because my body language / non-verbal communication is usually better. Secondly, notice how quickly the girls turned as I passed their shit tests. The brunette did a 180 almost immediately as I ignored her initial rejection and HBBarracuda (who was probably a 9…beautiful blonde with really big boobs…if you are into such things..hehe) gave me a nice compliment / IOI on my smile as I ejected. I think if I didn’t stumble on the “You aren’t doing a very good job” line I would have had them (the correct response would have been “It gets a lot worse, stick around” Credit: Sinn)

We also got the “Are we on camera?” line a few times throughout the night. Stupid reality show….

X

Vacation / Halloween / Dying of the Plague

My trip to Mexico lacked any gaming opportunities as the bars were empty save for a few whales that beached themselves in the downtown bars. Apparently it was the slow season in Puerto Vallarta and the tourist were further scared off by some Mafia murders that happened a few weeks prior. The only set all weekend were a pair of attractive sisters from Scottsdale that I picked up. My target and I were sitting together and she was trying to guess my sign, which led to this exchange:

Girl: Are you very particular? Like about food or keeping your place tidy?
Me: Not really (note how clever an answer this is)
Girl: Are you very sexual?
Me: Yes
Girl: Well every guy is sexual. But do you like to fuck or are you more sensual?
Me: (*thinking that the plot just thickened*) No. I like to fuck. I’m very dominant in bed.

Unfortunately later when I asked her if she was sexual she said no and that she was very conservative. After awhile she still seems to like me but the pull wasn’t happening so I got her number since she was visiting LA the following weekend.

Halloween….ended up at Pauly Shore’s house just above the Comedy Store on Sunset. I dressed up as Joe the Plumber complete with plunger, measuring tape, and McCain / Palin shirt. It was a great party and I had a number of good interactions. The best one was a super cute girl dressed as Sarah Palin. I thought it was really on but her friend ended up getting tanked and she had to take care of her.

The highlight of the evening was this….I’m walking around outside and a girl grabs my arm and says “Will you come with me?” I go inside the house with her thinking Halloween is like Xmas for the single guy. We get up to a staircase going upstairs where a bouncer is stationed. She says, “I need to use your plunger” and grabs it out of my hand and goes upstairs. The bouncer starts laughing his ass off and says, “The girls bathroom is up there”, just as the girl turns around and says “I promise I’ll wash it!” and goes into the bathroom. When she comes down later with it I say, “It’s OK you can keep it.” Ewwwww…….

After the party I text the Scottsdale girl that I met in Mexico. My friend and I meet up with her and her friend at 2:30am. The friend is smoking hot – a solid 9.5. We grab Jerry’s Deli, they are being really sexual and fun, and we take the food back to my place. Somehow the energy dies and nothing happens…..not really sure what happened but I end up taking them back at 4am. My friend and I argue about what went wrong. Chalk it up to learning…..

I’m finally healthy after being sick for 6 weeks or so. I went to the doctor last week and after some blood tests he said I have allergies or AIDS or something. I wasn’t really listening. The point is I’ll be back in the field at full strength shortly.

X